Battle Hymn

Nope ~ didn't get any painting done last night. By the time we finished dinner it was 9 PM. Though I did get eight meals made and in the freezer. But it's just not the same as an hour or so of painting time . . .

I think I need to make some changes to my schedule!

As I mentioned before, I am very blessed to have some very good friends. Each are special and talented in their own ways. Since Tim the Elder likes what I'm doing here, tracking my painting progress and recording some of our gaming adventures, it's time for something new . . .

Tim the Elder has for years regaled us (and literally reduced us to hysterics) with his gaming songs. Generally they have something to do with that day's battle. They have almost all been written on his drive to my house, or scribbled in a parking lot. They range from the sublime to the ridiculous. He has made us laugh so hard that we have cryed with our sides splitting!


If you think that's tough, imagine being on his side in the game and getting to be his back up singer ~ 'cause he'll hand you the lyrics, tell you what tune it's sung to and off you go! As in this picture, from January of 2006, I'm obviously stunned in disbelief as Tim gestures to get the accent right as he sings the lead!

So, today's installment was first sung, to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic, by Tim the Elder on February 19th, 2000.

The Battle Hymn of the Wargamer

My dice have been responsible for losing all my wars
Whenever I need sixes they will always come up fours
My game buddies all laugh and tease about my lowly scores
Bad dice roll on and on

I'm such a whiz at flank marches until I roll the dice
My troops that were in hot pursuit are now as cold as ice
It's hard to turn a flank when your own men have turned to mice
Bad dice roll on and on

Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Bad dice roll on and on

I can occupy the high ground with my back towards the sun
I can fortify positions but before my turn is done
I can test morale and watch my men surrender, die and run
Bad dice roll on and on

I have seen my veteran infantry marching like they were lame
I have seen my charging cavalry run back from where they came
I have seen my 12 pound battery go up in smoke and flame
Bad dice roll on and on

Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Bad dice roll on and on

I can change the rules to help me but my friends would give me lip
I can change the army lists to make sure mine are best equipped
I can change my name to Gladys Knight to get a decent "pip"
Bad dice roll on and on

Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Lordy, Lordy how they screw ya
Bad dice roll on and on


If only I can find a photo of him on his knees wearing a paper bicorne, with a hand in his shirt, as he was singing his Ballad of Napoleon the Frog . . .