Warwick ~ BoB III

From the pen and demented mind of PJ ~ the Perfect Warwick . . . (He really is! Even though I was honoured to play "Neville the Devil" in TtE's long running, and often hilarious, PBM Kingmaker game, PJ is perfect for a Warwick. And his Roman Commander is Whineous Maximus!)


(overheard during a meeting between Warwick and his military counsel)

"What is pomp, rule and reign? As far as I'm concerned, it's gigantic castles full of tasty food, comfy sofas, and a mistress behind every chamber door."

(loud cheers, hurrah's, etc. from the assembled faithful)

"...and I intend to pomp, rule, and reign now that I have that idiot Eddie right where I want him, trudging up that bloody road from North London. We should be well rested by the morrow, and he, along with that rabble of garlic-swilling Frenchies, should be exhausted"

(more hurrahs and vigourous back-slapping)

" OK. Exeter, you get the left flank. Montagu, the center. I shall be in the rear with the horses....er, um, the Reserves ready to deal with any desertions....um, er penetrations, yes, that's it, penetrations that might occur in our lines! Lord Chisick. be certain that a particularly fast horse is saddled for me should I need to flee..cough, harrrumph, um....fight with the Reserve."

"OXFORD! You ineffable bastard! Where are you? OH, there you are..couldnt see you because of this damnable fog! You get the right flank. Now remember, Chappie, be sure to only attack the guys to your front! Dont turn around if you hear any scary noises behind the line. That would only be me brilliantly maneuvering the Reserve to support your efforts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know its foggy, dark and scary. But should you stub your toe on assending ground while you are advancing, TURN THE BLOODY HELL AROUND! I dont want to find myself accidentally chopped to bloody rags because you think you see Eddie's banner painted on my breastplate!"

"Oh.........and no column assaults just to see what might happen.....RIGHT?"

"That is all..........for now"